Elevator Talk

February 18, 2009

The elevators in my apartment building drive me nuts. First of all, the up/down buttons do not always give you feedback that it’s worked when you push one. Second, because I can see which floor each elevator is on at any given time, from what I’ve experienced, I do not think that the elevators always operate in an efficient manner – and many residents agree with me.

For instance, I could be on the PH level wanting to get back to my apartment after sight-seeing at the gym. There are three elevators at the lowest floors and one hanging at the 10th floor, seven floors below me. Instead of the 10th floor elevator coming up to get me, one of the bottom floors will come up and get to me before the fourth elevator moves from the 10th. Or, after having pressed a button to go up or down on any floor, I will watch an elevator’s floor status tick right past the floor I’m on, going my way. I’m angry just describing this. Especially having been through several months of two out of four elevators being out of order. They’re fixed now but according to whose definition, I don’t know.

So this morning, I was at my floor’s elevator well with a neighbor who was well-dressed but I can imagine wears those safari hats. He’s the sort of person who probably lives the “when in Rome” attitude of culture and behavior. But that’s neither here nor there. He told me about visiting friends in the New York Times building and experiencing their elevator madness.

The NYT building’s elevator well, from this gentleman’s recollection, has eight elevators and each person presses a button on a keypad for the floor he wishes to go to. The keypad directs the user to wait in front of a specific elevator. BUT the elevator he gets on will not always take him to the floor he wants, sometimes just close. He has to take the stairs or try again in this different, wrong floor’s elevator well. And get this…there are no numbered-floor buttons inside the elevators!

This is what I call a mindfuck.

It makes my mind fucking wind around to come to grips with the fact that this even happened somewhere and I also notice that I feel a little bit better about my own building’s elevator schema. And my own psychology reminds me of an article I saw on some psychology website, which found that the vast majority of people would rather live on 50k a year with the satisfaction of making more than everyone around them…than 100k a year but knowing they’re near the bottom of the wealth spectrum. That at least makes sense to me.



  1. “…I call a mindfuck.”
    You ascetics conceptualize everything.
    I’m a simply golom preferring skullfucks.

  2. what I want to know is why you didnt ring the bell yell corners then hit punch your neighbor in the arm. ha

  3. another time, another elevator, and i would have punched the guy in the skull for not choosing a corner fast enough!

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